My poor hubby

This study is seriously a very depressing and frustrating process. Yesterday was no different. I thought I was the only one, but I was proven wrong. I could feel that John and karim were no different than me. John has a similar situation with me. Now they know how I felt when Nancy died.

I went home late and gloomy. The weather was not helpfull and SO got the the vibrant of my gloomy mood. Mentally and emotionally I was tired, that made me feel like old lady with no spirit in me. The burning fire in me fade away. The burning fire that light up our life was nowhere to be found.

This morning, after subuh prayer, I was in bed once again. The thing that I love doing and feel very comfortable with it. I was reading a story book - Fire within. It was a children book, but I learned no to underestime the story from the children book. Most of them are very calming, simple storyline yet interesting enough. This story is about dragon and the fire in the dragon, that light to the love.

After finished reading, I picked up my phone and dialed George. I had been dialing him most of the time. Eventhough he is so far away, I feel grateful, at least someone somewhere is around to read my work and has a faith in it especially at the time when I need a supervisor the most.

Finally he picked up the phone and was about to have his dinner while I was about half awoke. He made me promised to call back another half an hour. We were on phone for about 50min. I just felt like he was beside me and I kept on sriblling on my note and I never expect that it was about 3 pages sribbling.

Got myself breakfast, with my last night dinner that SO cooked for me. I did not have my dinner last night after eating my 'mc chicken' meal. It was halal and only cost me £2 for a deal of large fries, that I kept on eating along the travelling time, and mc chicken on the bus on the way home with a can of pepsi.

Reached home, being picked by SO and it was late enough to have a talk with him. He went to sleep while I was on the phone with Zoe for about an hour. At the time I was finished with the phone, he was fast asleep. I took a quick shower to clean myself had prayer and on to the bed. Watching the TV with a blank mind until I felt asleep.

My poor hubby, hardly has time. The life is taking its toll. InsyaAllah one day, we may have the time in the world to sit and stare.

Atas batu jemala patek@ 2004-09-15;12:12 p.m.

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